< than

   Everyday I write on this blog I try to be as open and honest as I can. I try to dig deep and talk about things that bother me and things I think could bother others. For those of you who are on my FB page Adventures or had read yesterday's post update, you know I am interviewing people with PCOS and Endometriosis. What I haven't posted on Jacks yet is how upset I am at the fact that a lot of women (atleast from those I know and have talked to) do not have a support system where they can talk about what they experience; that and the fact that there are so few doctors that 1. Take our complaints seriously 2. Actually help us manage our symptoms and actively try to help us over come these conditions and 3. Know enough about the condition to explain to us what is happening to our bodies. 

   When I talk to people about me having PCOS (PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome) the first question they ask after what is that, is what causes it. When I hear that I am constantly telling them I don't really know. I know that it has to do with hormones and how my eggs don't function like other women's. That when I am ovulating my poorly developed (or undeveloped) follicles cause cysts to develops. Do you understand this?? I didn't and so I asked another doctor after another what the heck happens that gives me cysts and what causes it. One doctor admitted to not knowing and told me in as dumbed down version as possible into how the cysts form. So basically when we ovulate more then one egg is released and when it's time the 'mature' egg gets sent off the be fertilized  while the others basically dissentergrate... Okay... Well apparently women with PCOS don't do that. The eggs left behind stay there and our body attacks it until it forms the cyst. So, basically what I got from that was my body is stupid and make big painful sacs that hurt me. 

     Anyway, that's not what this post is supposed to be about. It's supposed to be about how I personally am constantly feeling like I am less of a women. Less of a woman because I cannot have a baby like another woman can. Less of a woman because my hair is thinning and I am constantly having to find a way to cover the bald spot on top of my head. Less of a woman because the doctors made me think that the pain I feel every month was in my head and that all the other women could handle their cramps with out doubling over and crying. Less of a woman because of the random hair growth I find in places they shouldn't be. Less of a woman because when I go to the ER worries about what is happening I am discharged without even being given the courtesy of talking to a gyn or getting a sonogram. However, I refuse to keep feeling that way. I refuse to think I am less than any other woman or person because of how I'm being treated, looked at, or told. So today's post is about me standing up and hopefully with others saying I AM NOT < THAN!