New Adventure...1

I want to start of by saying yesterday I was tired with a headache and could not for the life of me look at a screen to write a post. So, here is yesterday's post today, ENJOY! 

Yesterday I had a fabulous meeting with my bosses doula and she is awesome!!! Like I cannot say it enough. I bring this up because in a previous post I talked about wanting to be a doula and guess what... I am! This fascinating woman told me that I don't have to be certified to be a doula just be a great, chill person who can help a woman with their pregnancy and birth and guess what... I've kind of already done that. So, I'm a doula!!! And I will be adding that to my resume and start looking for clients.

Tell me what you think should doulas have to be certified? Would you trust someone who just says their a doula? Are you pregnant and looking for one??

Melissa's yummy cupcakes

I know I am late on this but a little while ago my boss had a box of Melissa's cupcakes and they looked yummy. I myself couldn't have any because I'm on a diet..kind of. That's not to say I never had them before and wow are they yum. I suggest you get some! Sorry for sounding like a sales person but seriously get some post some pics on adventures page on facebook and let me envy you.

Re-cap and going forward

   For about a month know I have told you all (well not all) of my woes when it comes to my Pcos (and my kind of...diagnosed endo.. Tell you more about that another day) problems. Today I am going to list the things I plan on doing about it and have done about it. I will spill the truth of my adventures with pcos. 

   As I had told you many times before when I was diagnosed when I was a kid, they put me on birth control to manage the symptoms that came with pcos like 'periods' that aren't periods and cysts that grew and hurt. I was on birth control on and off for about 8 years or so and it was the worse things ever. My again 'period' never became really regular. Outside of that I never really took other medication that the doctors gave me because according to them I am a kid and don't need to be on anything but birth control which makes me absolutely crazy and depressed to the point were yes I wanted to die and I had several times tried to kill myself.  It's sad, not smart, and I'm not that person anymore. 

  Anyway after all that about a year ago I started to take metformin and no it was not prescribed to me but I took a dosage amount that was typical. I was left despreate for something to help me a. With my pcos b. Have a baby and c. Lose weight. Anyway not that long after I started taking them I ended up in the hospital and had to stop.

   Now, I am trying the whole lose weight, go to endocrinologist and get a new Gynecologist that will treat me like an adult...hopefully.

.Well it's late and I'm old and need my sleep. Leave comments below or message me. Good night 

Scary times with PCOS

This weekend was pretty darn boring and there wasn't really anything to write about... So, I thought I would talk about something that had happened to me a year ago and how that scared the ever living bejesus out of me. Last January/ February I started a period just like normal... It was heavy, annoying and at one point I even had to take off my pants wash them and hop into the shower before the blood could fit the floor (don't ask I don't know how I managed it). It wasn't till about a two or three weeks had past that I started to feel woozy and like I had to start taking it easier. Up until last year it was always hard to do but I managed to do my work anyway with only a few call outs. Well one day I was especially pale and my husband refused to let me go to work. I got to the toilet and sat there for two hours just feeling the blood leave me ( I know TMI again). It wasn't till around 10/11 that i resigned my fate of not going in to work but, I still wanted my husband to go into his job . Thank God he stood home otherwise I would probably be dead. At that point I had been bleeding for 36 days that's o er a month! For some people you will be like yea and I bleed like that all the time and longer. Others will probably think I'm lying or that its fucking  crazy. I promise you it's the truth!! Anyway my husband decides to put me into the bath to ease any cramps and help the blood come out and well it does. I turned my bath into the Red Sea and...that...was..fun.... Well as you can imagine with all the blood loss once I tried to get out of the bathtub my head swam and somehow managed to sit myself on the toilet before fainting. In the span it took me to seat myself, my husband appeared and was able to position himself were i not only threw up on him but fell on him. For those of you who have never passed out before it is crazy. I felt as if I was floating in a black room and the only sound was me screaming for my husband. I couldn't feel him, hear him, nothing it was a sensory shut down which is unbelievably horrible or rather believably horrible. Any way after all that we went to the hospital where they chastised me and gave me blood transfusions and medicine to stop the bleeding. By the time I left the hospital my body was between spotting and just regular bleeding. The next 20 day however was not that great. I took 4 birth control pills a day basically and yet I still overtly bled and lossed a lot of my ability to move around. My legs essentially became wet spagehetti and I had to start conditioning myself. In all it took me and my body till mid-may to get my body up to were I could work with out being completely hindered. 

 If anyone else has had something similar please share I would love to hear more.

Art speak and Pojazz

    Im excited (and slightly drunk) about today's workshop and Pojazz on the Hudson. 

     Today's workshop was co-hosted by pretty awesome Jazz poets E.J. and Golda S.;both of whom are professors. E.J took over the workshop today and filled us in on a bit of her back ground story while managing to leave us with a question we will be asking our selves for years. "What kind of poet are you?" You guys can give me some of your answers but even after 10 years of (attempting) writing poetry I am still not sure.

    When we got down to the writing part we were given packets with promps and questions we should ask ourselves as we  walked around the Gallery and truly looked at the art around us. I was of course drawn to the more sparkly painting and used the promp to write a short poem that I will share later as well as some other poems from the evening.

   After we went around the table reading we quickly got ready for the open mic and The PojazzCollective. Of course I went up and quickly read through a poem I had posted on here a while ago. 

After me went a few of the other Art Speak participants and I was of course blown out of the water by their intense poems. However, none of that prepared me for the most entertaining of performances I witnessed with the PoJazz Collective. If you do anything please see them and you will not regret it!! They have some great poems, great music and a chemistry you can not buy that leads to these amusing parts were you just have to laugh. I leave you off with a promise for dates and times soon to follow!!!

Sorry this was written Friday evening but never went through. 

1.2..3...15!

I haven't exactly talked about the things I have been doing lately and so I guess today I will. The other day I started to tell you how I am basically trying to resurrect, reconstruct, and basically start my business that I started 4 years ago. That has taken up a fair part of my time as well as my blogs , which you already know about and if you don't know I have two blogs. A link to my other blog can be found to the left and is under the word HOME. 

On top of those three pretty big projects I'm also currently working part-time for some pretty great people I've already told you about and trying to finish my BA. If that's not enough which,it kind of is when mixed in with trying to be a good wife 😏, I'm also in the middle of a project with a friend to start a counseling forum, thinking of ways to help get helpless animals off the streets and into good homes,trying to get my 'fix' my health, and attempting to get my license. 

Some people... Okay a lot of people tell me I need to focus, to take one or two things on at a time and then take on more from there. I've heard others say I'll give myself a coronary from all the stress. I'm not sure but HEY! If you guys think you can give me a timeline on how long I got that would be great!!! (Lol) if not your more then welcomed to tell me how crazy I am. I look forward to any comments!! For now I am ready to curl up with a book and a nice bath and I will talk to you guys tomorrow!

Pick me up in mcdonalds

I know I am not the only person who has 1. Seen videos online of the crazy stuff that happens in fast food places and 

2. Has been at a fast food place and wish you had your camera ON to catch the funny shit that was going on around you.

  Well, last night me and my husband took a walk down to the mcdonalds closest to us and was so excited that our meal came with a show. 

  Let me try and set the scene. There are about two to three groups of people at the counter when we walk in and a single man rapping to the window that looks into the playground. It's a little less creepy because it was closed and no kids were on the other side. That of course had us laghing  to ourselves. Now, we have been waiting a while and the line starts to move forward and he just starts dancing and bouncing an invisible ball... Okay to the juicier part... He starts to flirt with the girl standing in the line behind us! Asking her how old she was and as a way of making him self sound good talks about how he doesn't have kids and likes to go out and enjoy himself...(it's funnier in person I'm sure)... Then when the girl makes a stealth move and gets the heck out; he starts to flirt with the cashier and saying how impressed she will be when he rolls up in his fancy car. She turns him down stating "I have a car of my own. I don't need yours". I continue to laugh at the idiocy of this guy. Luckily soon after he got turned down he left.

Business luck

Today, I found out how lucky I am to have gotten the job I have currently. Let me back up a little and explain why. About 4 years ago I attempted to start a business that would offer families services... A lot like care.com and stuff but I figured that personal assistance and other services should be offered as well and the workers should be college kids. Not exactly a new spin on things except the fact that my site also would sell books and stuff... Kind of a one stop shop. Which can be a good thing and can be a bad thing... Most businesses start with one thing and then expand as it gets a client base; I am not that patient. 

To get back to why I am lucky. My current employers are very well connected. What do I mean? I mean that the husband is a computer person and can help with websites and also knows someone in small business...yay ! For me! And the wife has connection to people in the different services I want to add both to my resume and to my business. In addition this is basically what the wife does for a living!!! She helps people with their ideas! How crazy is that!! So today I am a lucky person who have people interested in helping. 

This is were I leave you and I hope you take a second and look at the people around you and the people introduced to your life. They are most likely there to help you and make your world a little better and a word to the wise; if they aren't get them the heck out of your life!!!

First day

When I first started this blog I told you guys I wouldn't talk about my work. ...well I'm going to atleast for today. You see I just started working for a nice family who has a two week old baby boy. The moment he was in my arms it felt right... Not the kind of right like take the baby! The kind of right that I know a baby, my baby belongs to. 

At the same time as this feeling of right i also felt unbelivabley sad. All I could think of was were are my babies!!! I know I'm soo lucky that I get to work with kids and get some of that angst out but, at the same time I feel the loss almost more....

Anyone else feel the same??

Lazy to the max

It has been nearly a month that I have been at home with nothing really to do besides try not bleed all over my belongings and now that I have the freedom to get up and go out I find myself bored with no will power to actually do anything. I do however, want to acknowledge that last night I did do a 30 minute arms workout... I felt the burn but today I planned on doing more. How many of you guys feel the same? How many of you have a hard time getting yourself up to do something you know you should?... Well I'm off to try and do another 30 minute workout. Checkout my FB page for pictures of my progress! 

Facebook.com/adventuresofjacks

The end

I am glad to say that after a little over three weeks my 'period' is done, my strength is coming back, and I am looking forward to getting out of the house. Which happens to be perfect timing since it's nice and sunny outside. The only thing left to do is take out a few dresses, lose a few pounds, and enjoy the weather while it lasts. I encourage you all to do the same but come back and read the stories from our readers.

Donations

Today in the mail I got the first 'kit' that was bought with some of the donation money. I want to thank everyone who donated and here is a picture of what came in.

This will be given to someone who has broken their loom and has wanted a new one. I hope we get some more donation so we can give out bigger 

And better kits to these kids!!

PCOS makes my inner thoughts crazy

   Here is a kind of funny story... Today I was talking to a friend of my Rob on Facebook while I was in the bathroom (yes, I admit what a lot of people wont. I have tons of conversations with people while in the bathroom...GET OVER IT!) and while I was getting up I commented to him "I just made the Red Sea....." He of course comments back unfazed saying "Aunt 'Flow' stopped by?"
When I saw that text I had a really good laugh and replied honestly "I wish! That bitch moved in last Thursday" As witty as I was being it was true; I wish that I was experiencing just a stop by and not a whole stinking vacation for this thing. I mean (yes, I know I say that a lot) I read a bunch of stuff about menstruation and have tons of friends, all of whom I envy, that have periods for 2-3 days some for as long as 5 and I sit there listening to them complain and all I have in my head is please Lord let me have what they have. I promise I will do anything just let my uterus be like theirs! as well as, You stinker heads deal with it for 3 days of what I consider a light flow and I have it for as little as 8-10 days to 2-4 months with a flow that would probably kill you!! Of course I cannot say that to all of them. Anyone else have that problem like you want to scream and yell at your friends for complaining about these 'periods' of there and you are just like  I WISH YOU COULD SPEND JUST ONE WEEK WITH MY... WHATEVER.. I SHOULD CALL IT BECAUSE IT IS DEFINITELY NOT A PERIOD!!!
   On a slightly different note and if you are squeamish or cannot deal with the full truth about a woman's period and all that accompanies it please stop reading. Does anyone else ever have difficulty with blood on their hands and in the beds of your nails? I am constantly washing my hands trying to get the blood off from when I clean myself. I swear there has got to be a better way. I am so close to just buying a huge supply of latex gloves to use during these times when its just like the blood goes everywhere. I know, I know TMI we don't want to hear that but, I did tell all you squeamish people to stop reading before I got into that. 
    Anyway leave me comments they don't have to be nice I promise I can handle it. Let me know what you think. what you have been through. Ask me questions I am obviously not shy.

Poetry and loss...

Earlier I posted on my other blog a very personal old poem that talks about how I felt after my mother died from cancer. It is can be seen as a dark poem and I guess in some ways it may be; there is definitely a lot of emotion in it. I want to take a second before I go more into it and give you guys one the ability to read it http://adventureintothearts.blogspot.com/2015/04/died-with-you.html?m=1 and also to tell you I do not in anyway promote suicide or anything like that. Now, here is the story about what inspired that poem...

The summer after I turned 16 my mom took me out to dinner to tell me why she had been sick for so long... Turns out she had cancer and was moving back to NY for treatment. I followed her to NY a few months later. My mom survived 2 years and 2 months with stage 4 colon cancer. My sophomore year after becoming even closer to her, she died. I was 18 years old and felt so unbelievably lost without her. I tried so hard to be organized and look happy, unfazed, okay. I spent most of the time right before she died to a year or more after she died drinking and other stuff to numb the pain that was inside of me. I'm going to stop here before I end up crying all over my keyboard but before I go I want anyone to has lost someone and feels the need to talk about to please message me using the contact form at the bottom of the page. 

Married to a ....Marine

Up until now I haven't said much about my marriage. I'm sure you guys who don't know me or those who just want to catch up about my current life would like to know about my husband who, I occasionally want to kill... 

A little recap- we met in elementary school and apparently he liked me... Fast forward oh 6 or 7 years we meet again and he calls me his wife! Yea, I know crazy!! Fast forward alittle more and we are 19 and I finally say yes to dating him and a week later he goes off to boot camp. The following year we actually get the chance to date and 4 months later we are MARRIED! It has now been 2 years and 7 months since our vows and you are basically all caught up. 

This post is not so much about my marriage ,which I will go into detail about at another time but, about being married to someone in the military...

Since being with my husband, I have had to get use to the thought that he could get hurt, killed, or be called active and sent over seas. I'm lucky though in the sense that he is reserved so I normally feel like he is safe even though in the back of my mind I know that if we were to go to war then I could easily lose him. 

I do have to say one thing though it is nice that as a reservist he leaves once a month to go training, like this weekend. It gives us some time apart to miss eachother and me time to hang out with friends or have the run of the house and TV. However, in the summer he leaves for two weeks which goes by both very quickly and achingly slow. Sometimes I wish he was just a civilian but I know he enjoys being a marine and playing with all of his guns.well that's were I will leave off today. Please comment below if you have military personnel in your family or are a spouse, girlfriend, or fiancé of one. I would love to hear from you guys!

Touchy topic

For me touchy topics aren't about my period, the ex who cheated or the crappy things that happened as a kid. My touchy topic is trying to have a kid. I decided to write about my venture into having a baby because well I told you I would be an open book and because someone asked if I could. The answer is I Don't Know but, I am so fearful the answer will be no I can't. As far back as I remember the only thing I have ever wanted was a child. Some girls want amazing husbands, fabulous weddings, ponies, and mansions with cloths and shoes; I just wanted to be a mom. When I was diagnosed at 12 with PCOS the doctor never told me I wouldn't have kids but, when I went home and did the research I grew depressed at what the people online had to say. The thought of me not being a mother was too much and so like most people I decided that wouldn't be me. That it was impossible that a girl from such a huge family would end up with a problem having kids. When I was 16 I lost my first child. I was so devastated that I felt incompetent and useless as a woman. I was so upset at losing a child that ever since I have been trying to get pregnant. I was successful a few times but each time I would lose the baby. At the ripe age of 23 I'm left wondering what is wrong with me and I know it's this stupid PCOS but, that doesn't mean that a part of me still doesn't feel like it's my fault. Like somehow I should be able to fix it and make it so I can have a child. It also gives me these insecurities about whether my husband will still love me and want to be with me a year or five years down the road when all there is to show from our efforts is loss. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has felt this way and encourage others to comment or email about themselves. Maybe together we can banish these feelings...or maybe by saying them out loud we can start to fix it. I Don't Know I often feel like a dumb kid but maybe if just one person writes about their experience something good can happen.

Going out

So for the first time in oh a year. I was invited to go out by my husband's friend so we could all relax and get to know eachother after a  stressful week. We were supposed to go to a rave at this club Pacha but after 12 they apparently charge 50$ a head!! That is of course to much for this old woman here and so instead of going we got off the 4 train at 86th and went to one of my favorite pool halls. Even though in my opinion it was not at its best that night we still had a pretty great time. Some of us took mollies and had a blast drinking while I myself decided to stay sober and be the mother hen. After a few matches of billards and meeting a couple of cool guys we took to the streets and wondered around in search of food at 2 am. To our luck there were a few places open and we had the run of the place. I have to say this was one of the best nights in a very long time.  

Workout...?

The other week I talked to you guys about me starting to exercise and in general try to become healthier and loss weight. Unfortunately, I have not done a good job on keeping you guys up to date on my workouts. Here is a bit of what has been happening. 

Last week I acquired my Jawbone up move band and decided to get back to moving more. I knew it might take a little longer for me to get fully into it so I didn't try anything too hard or re-start my Pact (a pretty cool app that pays you to workout). Saturday was my first official day having it and so I worked out a bit. Knowing it was going to be a busy day I worked out in the shower doing lunges and squats. Boy was I not ready for that brief 30 minute workout! By the time I left for work I was so sore I actually fell down the stairs cause I couldn't walk properly; which of course made my legs hurt more. It was a good start even though since I started my period I haven't worked out since. I promise though that as soon as my body is able to workout again I will let you know what I'm doing.
Below I am attaching some pics of my getting up and moving process.

Getting my butt kicked once again

Today, I find myself once again with no energy and the creeping feeling that at any moment I will need to be rushed to the bathroom to keep red stains off of my sheets and floor. If your not getting what I am saying let me spell it out a girls period is tough but, a girls period with PCOS can be even tougher; that is of course when ever it deems fit to show up. This month for me it came 18 days late and with a BANG. For about a week now I have been dealing with pre- menstrual cramps that..well..Suck! And as of two days ago when "Aunt Flo" (as people like to call it) decided to pay a visit the cramps worsened. All pretty typical right. Wrong! My cramps went from annoying to "OMG is there something trying to claw its way out?!?!". 

If the 'cramps' weren't bad enough there's also the little matter of the actual blood. I know "TMI!" "Why are you saying all of this?"I'm saying it cause it needs to be said, tiptoeing around it is not helpful for the women and girls who go through it to understand so, back to the shedding. Bleeding has always been a problem for me either there is so little I am confused by wether I even had a period or there is so much I need to be hooked up to IVs and get transfusions. This month I'm not sure were we're headed but, I do know that keeping my body from staining my cloths, sheets, and even leaving a trail behind me is difficult. On top of that the feeling of dizziness/ light headedness is concerning and yet still normal for me as well as,the rapid heartbeats caused by well any type of physical activity including walking.  I often find my self bed ridden or having to stop every few feet just to get my head clear. Can you imagine trying to live your life or even deal with work when every step feels like your about to have a heart attack. I know boohoo me a practically healthy girl that has all her limbs and basically all her marbles together. I know there are people out there who never let their handicaps get the better of them. People with no legs or arms, people who are paralyzed and mentally handicapped. I'm just venting and trying to find ways to make my life easier to live. 

Leave comments below if this is something you've had to deal with or if your curious about anything I've said. Also, ask me any questions! I would love to answer them.

I’m Sorry

I'm sorry I haven't been around for the past few days. I have been doing some interesting things and I will be posting a series of what has been going on in the next few hours. I do want to take a second though before I do and tell you guys all about this nice, new, fancy button I have to the right of the screen that says donate on it. Last week I posted about a sweet girl who gave me some bracelets she had been working on to give to you guys (my subscribers & readers). Over the weekend I was wondering what I could do for her and little girls like her. That's when I realized I could put up a donate button and let you guys pick if you want to give some money to these little girls for art kits (clay kits, rubber bands and rainbow loom product, etc.). Each child would get whichever kit/ materials they like and this can be a fun way to promote creative activity. Now, you may be saying how do we know the kids will be getting these materials; if the parents allow it I will post a picture of the children and whatever craft they receive and I am not only asking for you guys to donate cash. If you want donate materials please Contact me below and let me know what you would like to donate and I will give you an address. I hope there are some generous people out here that are willing to promote kids arts.