Depression

Yesterday I meant to write about mental illness and how it can affect anyone but instead I cried myself to sleep. So, I'll write about it today. Not a lot of people know this but I suffer from depression and anxiety. At a young age I was diagnosed as manic depressive and as I got older with anxiety. I have a difficult time in a crowd of people and often feel judged and like it's difficult to be social. Hence, why I spend a lot of time sequestered away and ready stories. I have learned that for me writing is a great outlet. It's a way for me to communicate without getting mixed up and jumbled and its a way for me to get out my emotions. I'm sure not a lot of you understand. First your probably wondering what manic depression is, well the best way I can describe it, is bipolar disorder just not so fast. My emotions are roller coasters that effect me physically and emotionally. I have literally say and had a nice conversation with someone about happy topics and tears would fall from my eyes or I could be very giddy and laugh and be comfortable talking with people as if I were drunk and then the next day cry and want to die. My emotions don't always come with a warning but when they do, I try to brace  myself and the people around me. Depression has made my life harder and the situations I go though more difficult. Sometimes I have the blessing/ curse of numbness which does nothing but prolong whatever sadness I may end up with. I don't think I can cover it all in one post but be sure to know I will be talking more about it. For now be open and understanding to the people around you. You never know what they have gone through or are going through.