Okay so I do have to say I am currently returning only because I received a message from a "fan". I did not realize I had any but, I am really excited to hear that. I cannot promise that with my schedule and the life I am currently living I will be able to write as often as I used to. In fact you may go months without hearing from me.
So, lets get to it.
My forever fan (their own words) has asked some questions that I will try to answer. I do have to admit my memory sucks (sorry, not sorry)so not everything will be told in full detail. Also, my life has taken a lot of turns this year and some of it is private.
The first thing they bring up is my PCOS. This topic has not changed so much or pretty much at all. My cysts still come to visit but are less painful. My periods are still several weeks long and leave me wishing I was attached to an IV that contained replenishing blood and caffeine. I do have to admit though I have not had a period since June. At least not the periods I have. I have had a few days here and there of brownish stuff (I know TMI, EWWW!!). Its apart of life so get over it. Before you ask no I am not pregnant. That has been something that I still want and have been unable to do/ or rather keep. Yes, I've been pregnant recently...well since 2016. Obviously, it did not last and its unfortunate. I have done a lot of reflecting and activities to try and take the sting out of not having yet again another child. Oh well! This has answered two questions.
As you all know I am married and madly in love with someone I call "HIM". No, they are not the same person. No, I do not care what you think about that. My husband was a cheating, lying, ass hat that although was one of my best friends and good for me in some ways; was also the worst possible husband. He left in April to be with his 40 year old Korean sugar mama and her family (and kid). Him is still married even though he has admitted he doesn't want to be and a bunch of other things. He has a lot he is working through and no I will not discuss it. Its his life and not for me to share. The information I learn about him every time we talk saddens me but, reminds me of how much I love him and want him to be happy. True love is never about only doing for yourself, it's about making sure they do what they need to lead a happy and healthy life. Now, with that said I do set limits and demands. I think that's my right as the one who loves him. If you are wondering, it has been 5 years since I last saw him in person. He lives awhile away from me and the only face time I get with him is well FaceTime.
The main question I received and believe you all have is "where am I in life?". Well, I recently moved in with my "twin" sister and her family. My business is now a company and I doing okay (it can always be better). I am taking a college course to get my education back on track. I am writing a little bit (the book I was working on forever, a new story, and the others). This is not going so well with my work schedule but, hey I'm trying. I have a few new men in my life since my husband left. No, they do not mean much and both know where they stand with me. Sometimes a girl just needs the company of a man. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Other than that nothing has really changed. I still want a baby and am more than willing to do it alone. This is not an invitation!!! I still have things I need to work on as well. I am still struggling with my depression over my losses (children and my mother). Still looking for a better living situation where I can be on my own. Still working on making my business and trying to make it grow. Still doing a lot of things. Until, I can have my health straightened out I think it would be reckless of me to actively try for a child. I'm not saying I will be upset if it happens accidentally but, not actively right now. When I have the funds, a clearance with my health and a place to care for my child then I will ask the dr to help me with fertility and foster. I would adopt but I know I do not and will not have the funds for that for a very long time.
I'm pretty sure I answered everything. Filled you in with as much as I think your ready for. If you feel you need more info or juicier information don't be shy. Leave me a comment and ask away. I have always said I am an open book.
